Good relationships never stop growing. Like fine wine, they get better
with age. LOU and LORI when you were married 20 years ago, you
had no idea what life had in store for you. And today you come to renew
your vow and commitment of love for each other here in the land of
aloha.God invented marriage because He knew of your need and desire
for companionship, love and fulfillment. But we know that there will
never be a perfect marriage. As you continue in your relationship, I’m
sure you understand that it takes a lot of love AND a lot of work to
make your relationship work properly.
I'm sure your union as husband and wife has sometimes been difficult.
Lovers are never strangers to tension and stress. You know by now that
marriage certainly does not eliminate all of life’s problems. You want
your union to be a haven where the two of you can grow and nurture one
another as you continue to learn how to love each other.
Your Commitment
Your marriage is one of the most important commitments you’ve made.
As your love grows deeper each year and as you become more comfortable
with each other, so does your relationship go beyond anything you could
have imagined when you first tied the knot.
Now as you stand here (before this gathering of family and friends)
you are about to compassionately and joyfully reaffirm your love and
commitment. You have come through struggles and personal victories over
the years and you bring all of these emotions today as you once again
proclaim your vow of love to each other.
Today it is your desire to re-ignite the flames of your commitment,
emphasizing again, that you have not forgotten what it was that first
brought you together. Today, you move further down that road which you
want to last for a lifetime. This is your loving commitment today.
Although love can be described as a state of being, it really is an
ACTION word. So it’s not just how you feel about each other, but what
you DO for each other that’s the key.
1 Corinthians 13
Some of the greatest advice about love ever written is found in 1
Corinthians chapter 13. Let me read it from the Living Bible:
"Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never
boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not
demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold
grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never
glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.
"If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the
cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and
always stand your ground in defending him."
In the Hawaiian language there is a term that describes how couples
should treat one another. Ho’oponopono means: "to put things
right by family discussion."
In other words, don’t let the sun set when you find that you have
become angry. Talk things out. Makes things right with each other
quickly, before the sun disappears into the horizon. That’s the best way
to keep little misunderstandings from growing into problems that could
hurt your relationship.
What Marriage is
Margaret Keep wrote an interesting free-verse poem:
"Marriage is more than a contract. Marriage is commitment to take
that joy deep, deeper than happiness, deep into the discovery of who you
most truly are. It is a spiritual journey, to a life of becoming — in
which joy can comprehend despair, running through rivers into joy again.
And thus marriage is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant — a
covenant that says: I love you. I trust you. I will be here for you when
you are hurting; and when I am hurting, I will not leave. . . Marriage
is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk fully loving,
fully living and completely sharing from the center of oneself. This is
worth everything." —Margaret Keep
When you think of your marriage, especially when it has over the
years begotten and nurtured children, it is important to add a new word
to your relationship, and that word is: "legacy."
By your love and commitment, you have produced a bond for your family
that is for them a lasting legacy. While your example has certainly not
been perfect, it is nonetheless a legacy that your children’s children
can look upon for many generations to come. Your legacy pours out of and
begins with the love and commitment that you have exhibited to each
other over the years.
Expect the best from your lover and you can transform your home into
a castle where love thrives.
HIS VOWS
LOU, please take your lei and place it around LORI ‘s neck and in the
Hawaiian tradition, give her a kiss on both cheeks.
Do you LOU, acknowledge your desire to continue to take LORI, to be
your wife, to live together according to God's word? Will you continue
to love and cherish her, giving her assistance in all of life’s labors?
Will you continue to be true to her both in sickness and health, both
when things are going well and when there are problems? And will you be
faithful to her as long as you both shall live? If so, you may answer, I
DO.
LOU, let the beautiful & fragrant flowers that you have placed on
LORI remind you of the fragile nature of your relationship with your
wife. Cherish her always, treating her as your princess.
HER VOWS
LORI, take this lei and place it around LOU ‘s neck and in the
Hawaiian tradition, give him a kiss on both cheeks.
Do you, LORI, acknowledge your desire today, to continue to take LOU,
to be your husband and to live together according the God’s word? Will
you continue to love and cherish him, giving him assistance in all of
life’s labors? Will you continue be true to him both in sickness and in
health, both when things are going well and when there are difficulties?
And will you be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? If so,
you may answer, I DO.
LORI, let the beauty & fragrance of these flowers which you have
placed around LOU ‘s neck remind you of your commitment to continue to
be his bride. Cherish him always, treating him as your prince.
LOU, please touch the ring that you have given to LORI, thus
symbolically re-giving it to her. As the ring continues to circle her
finger, so shall you love continue to surround your bride. Repeat after
me, these fresh new vows of commitment to your wife:
"I LOU,
renew my vows
of marriage to you,
My wife LORI.
You are my life partner
My best friend and companion.
You are the supporter of my dreams
And guardian of my heart
I will spend the rest of my days
At your side.
Thank you for providing
A nurturing and loving environment.
What I promised before,
I now gladly promise again
To love you,
To honor you,
And respect you
Above all others."
HIS RING
LORI, would you touch the ring that you have previously given to LOU
and symbolically re-give it to him. Note that the ring is a circle,
which symbolizes eternity—for a circle has no ending. LORI, repeat after
me as you remake these vows to your husband:
"I LORI,
renew my vows
of marriage to you,
my husband LOU.
You are my life partner
My best friend and companion.
I gladly renew the promise I made
to be your wife.
I promise once again,
To love you,
To honor you,
To respect you above all others.
I pledge myself to you
Again this day
With a love as fresh
As the day we married.
PRAYER
PROCLAMATION
Now that you: LOU and LORI have openly declared your wish to be
reunited in the covenant of marriage, and as you have made these
promises to each other before God and these witnesses, and have re-given
each other rings to confirm your vows;
I, John Souter, by the power & authority granted to me as a minister,
do affirm before God, that the two of you today have expressed your
desire to continue for a lifetime: as husband and wife.
May God bless you.
